The Ultimate Black Friday Survival Guide

The US Thanksgiving is around the corner. Many people associate Thanksgiving with crazy sales because of Black Friday. During this time, stores lower their prices to entice people to spend money and buy things. Every year we hear people getting hurt or even sale-induced-riots on Black Friday. I believe this year we can avoid such Black Friday gong show if we follow the ultimate Black Friday survival guide described below.

  1. Write down all the things you plan to buy this Black Friday. Next calculate how much all these items will cost. Write down this number on a piece of paper.
  2. Throw out all Black Friday flyers and ads.
  3. Ignore all online Black Friday ads and install ad blocker on you internet browser. Delete any Black Friday promotional emails.
  4. On Thanksgiving, throw your car key in a bowl of water and put it in the freezer. Next, unplug your internet connection.
  5. Before Thanksgiving dinner, imagine that you are living in a developing or underdeveloped country. Imagine that you now only have 1/10 of the luxuries you have at home. Imagine that you have no electricity and no drinking water. There’s no food in your fridge readily available whenever you wanted, because you have no fridge; you have no computer, no internet, no TV, not even a flushing toilet. Imagine not being able to feed your family because there’s not enough food. Imagine going to bed hungry. Imagine going to work hungry. Imagine having to walk for miles to get any drinking water. Imagine the biggest luxury in life are the clothes that you are wearing right now. Imagine what your life would be without all the things that you always take for granted.
  6. Close your eyes and truly feel thankful. Feel thankful that you live in a developed country where things are readily available. Be thankful that there’s electricity, drinking water, heat, and a roof over your head. Be appreciative of what you have in life now. Be appreciative of what you already have when so many people in this world are living in poverty, going to bed hungry, and suffering every day. Be thankful that you have family and friends sitting with you at dinner table, ready to enjoy the beautiful Thanksgiving dinner.
  7. Go to a family member or a friend sitting next to you, and give him or her a hug. Tell him or her how thankful you are to have him/her around in your life
  8. Stay home on Black Friday and ignore all the craziness outside and online.
  9. Take out that piece of paper from step #1 and look at the dollar amount you wrote down.
  10. Donate half of that money to help someone in need. Invest the other half for a better future for yourself. Or whatever mix you decide to do.

Simple right? Now who’s with me?

P.S.  For us Canadians, also known as the always-apologizing-toque-wearing-eh-the-friendly-northern-neighbours-eh, we already celebrated our Thanksgiving in October by saying sorry repeatedly to turkeys before we eat them then saying sorry multiple times after we finish our Thanksgiving meal.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all Americans out there!

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21 thoughts on “The Ultimate Black Friday Survival Guide”

  1. Every year, we’d shake off Black Friday, but this year, I do need a computer, as I’m retiring my dead screen too slow to load laptop. LOL 🙂 Consume! Consume! Consume!

  2. Ha this really made me laugh! Very good stuff and really on point. Just focus on the positive.
    Since a few years we also know the ‘Black Friday’ in the Netherlands, although we don’t celebrate Thanksgiving. It really is madness and I’m always glad I will miss it completely 🙂

  3. I’m going to combine Halloween & Black Friday & Christmas shopping, by wearing my Trump mask into Best Buy, scaring the bejesus out of normal people. I’m sure management will offer me 80% off anything, just to get me out of the store. I will finish my Christmas shopping in no time, and be home to watch BNN in a flash. Oh, sorry about that, I’m Canadian too.

    • The Black Friday madness is starting to migrate to Canada as many stores now advertise “Black Friday” sales.

      Here in Canada we have this holiday called “Boxing Day” that’s on Dec 26th.

  4. Wait, so I’m not supposed to put on shoulderpads and secure my rightful place in the stampede at Walmart, Target, and Best Buy?

    The only outing on my Black Friday schedule is ringing the Salvation Army bell with my boys outside Walgreens. It’s close to my home and was quite busy last year. And the boys look super cute in the red apron.


    • LOL! I want to see a pic of you with shoulder pads at Best Buy. :p

      Ringing the Salvation Army bell seems like a great thing to do. Maybe you should make it a Black Friday tradition in the family?


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